Relationship counselling – are you couples both grid-locked in negative interaction cycles? Or are you mothers/fathers trying to repair and/or strengthen your attachment bonds with your adolescents while supporting their developing need for autonomy? Relationship counselling seeks to assist couples (be it a husband and wife, or, a parent and child) in changing the negative patterns of interaction, reducing the couple’s distress and increasing intimacy. John Gottman said that about 66.67% of couples’ interactions problems are unresolvable. This can be quite frustrating for most couples. Relationship counselling can help you live more peacefully with the unsolvable, help you solve the solvable, while accepting and integrating disappointment into life with meaning. David Schnarch mentioned that relationship is a ‘people-growing’ machine. Though painful at times, we grow in and from the relationship. At Bethsaida, we’ll encourage you to work as a team, fight fairly and respectfully, while honouring each other’s life dreams. My success rate depends on the couple’s willingness to journey together in enhancing their friendship, fondness, and admiration, while holding on and respecting individual’s uniqueness. My hope is that the negative interactions can be dialed down, skills and rituals that encourage emotional connection can be explored, and that positive interactions can be increased. Bethsaida counselling uses an integration framework of EFCT (Emotional Focused Couple Therapy) with the Developmental Model. This framework does not focus on pathology but instead emphasizes the role of development in relationships. According to this model, it is natural for long-term relationships to proceed through the stages of bonding, differentiation, practicing, rapproachement, and synergy. This model operates under the idea of healthy relationships requiring developmental growth from each partner. Conflict is believed to be likely to occur when partners are at different developmental stages. My role as a therapist is to help both partners recognize the stage each is currently in, negotiate tasks in the current stage, and work through any issues keeping the couple stuck. It is my role as a therapist to help you, couples to move through the developmental stage and grow, both individually and as a couple, in the process developing a stronger, more mature emotional connection.